“And truly it demands something godlike in him who cast off the common motives of humanity and ventured to trust himself for a taskmaster.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
You know yourself better than anyone else
Asking for advice can be a helpful tool in decision making. However, be aware of your motivation: are you a) asking for someone else to steer your bike; b) show you a trail that you didn’t know about (aka different perspective); or c) reflect back to you what they hear as your take on the trail options.
There is an awareness you have and can cultivate about yourself. This connection will help end the cycle of giving your power away, which sometimes take the form of asking for advice. Next time you are about to ask for advice, ask yourself instead and tap into what you know to be true for you. Having done this, notice how much more confident you feel when you ask yourself rather than asking someone else for the answer.
How you build this personal compass to help you in decision-making and life choices is similar to going in for a bike fitting: assessing and adapting the bike (your work, life, relationships) to your small details (your uniqueness). In building your personal awareness, you will build your sense of being grounded. You will suffer less and be better able to ride the bike of life to the best of your ability. You’ll be more comfortable, resilient to challenges, powerful, and you’ll enjoy the ride more!
An activity and question to build presence and self-awareness:
Activity: Stop several times a day to be present to yourself and the world around you. Notice your thoughts/wants/feelings at these moments. Notice sounds/smells/bodily sensations. Notice without judgement.
Question: What in my day grounds me/uplifts me/energizes me?
I’m a recovering advice asking addict, and I can tell you two big impacts from this process: I feel way better about my decision when they come from connecting to my personal compass, and I am a more grounded and confident person. And, for those of us who’ve been uncomfortable on our trusty bikes, we know that if we’re pain-free and riding happy, we’re going to be a hell of a lot more fun ride partner!